Warning: Sex Causes Children

When I was working at Motherhood Maternity, there was a book that had a comic in it with this saying. SURGEON'S GENERAL WARNING: SEX CAUSES CHILDREN. I would have tried to find it on the internet so I could post it, but I might have ended up finding a picture with more detail than I bargained for you know what I'm sayin? Derek and I find baby things so amusing at times. And he cracks me up to death with his hilarious comments, talking about babies in relation to adulthood. For example:

*What if we all cruised around in onesies as adults? Could you just see us with our button-up-at-the-crotch outfits?

*Why on earth do babies cry when they're tired? I don't cry when I'm tired, I go to sleep!

*Wouldn't it be nice if we just sat there while someone bathed us and brushed our hair and fed us every few hours and played with us, making random weird noises in our faces all day long?

*What if every adult you saw walking around, had a huge binky in their mouth?

*You know, I'd probably cry too if I was sitting in a load of poop.

*How nice, babies just sit there in their carseats while we pick them up and tote them around.

*Babies can totally let 'er rip in church and people think it's funny rather than disgusting.

Weird thoughts, weird thoughts. And these are just a few, but life with a baby is pretty comical at times. Don't get me wrong, though, it's by far the most difficult, emotionally-exausting, selfless, thing I've ever done in my life. You mom's know exactly what I'm saying. Do you ever wonder how nice it might be to have some fairy in your house to play with your baby for 2 hours at a time and to put them down for a nap afterwards? It's called a nanny. And as much as it seems nice in my head, I really wouldn't trade all of that not-that-fun stuff for anything. My baby is starting to crawl now! Well, he more like hops like a bunny. He'll rock back and forth on his hands and knees and then jumps his legs to his elbows and moves forward that way. It's so awesome, I love it! Those are the things I wouldn't ever want to miss.


Yesterday I went to this blog that some of my friends mentioned on their Facebook and I was appalled by this girl! I thought, "Who IS this person!? She is RETARDED!!!" And she had ads all over the sides of her blog so I knew it was a popular one. Her grammar was off-the-charts terrible, she was extremely egotistical and just a space cadet all around. But I could NOT stop reading it! It was too ridiculous! Then, after reading some of the comments she received on her posts, I thought- "something is weird about this blog". So I went to her very first post. Well, I realized that it's a blog of made up people. It's a made up girl in a made up marriage with made up twins living in Utah. It's a satirical blog, making fun of all of the self-righteous people in the "Happy Valley". Personally, I loved Utah! But I guess when people aren't from there and have been there too long they get a little...annoyed?...at the Utah-ans. So check it out: it's seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com. And it's funny once you realize it's just for fun. Otherwise, you'd want to go deck that girl in the face and give her a grammar lesson!


I stumbled upon another blog one night (it's addicting, okay?) and this girl mentioned something about how she hopes her blog doesn't make people feel bad about themselves and how she dislikes those types of blogs where the blogger makes other people feel crummy? I thought that was strange. Do people really take things that personally? I mean, I'm pretty sure people aren't out there blogging away about their lives so that their readers can feel like poop. So if my blog offends you...then...hmm...maybe stop reading. Or maybe you were an illegal alien that read my "America, America" post a while back. But I'm not going to apologize for that one. Ha. This is real life. And these are our real feelings! No use in buttering them up- although I don't think you should go offending people on purpose. I think people just blog because they want to stay in touch! Or they want to read about what other people like them (for example: I like to see what other stay-at-home moms do all day) do for fun. Today for fun, I put my nasty cut-off hair piece (no, I still haven't sent it in to Locks of Love. Gross, I know.) on Titan to see how beautiful he would look! (Blackmail pictures for later in life, or when he has a girlfriend I don't particularly enjoy?) This hair piece is now called "Wiggy". I hope you like these as much as I do. The other pictures are of him posing for the camera. Seriously, he posed! I said, "Titan...smiiiiiile!" For an almost 6 month old to know that he needs to flash his pearly gums at me when my face is behind the camera is a sign that his mom takes too many pictures. I love pictures, ok? So sue me.