WTF (Not the bad F)

I think I might be officially broken.

My family is full of lemons. (Sorry guys, but you've said so yourselves.)

Now, for a while, I've often wondered if I was pregnant again. (I know! Don't judge!) I have an IUD so I don't have my monthly visitor, and my pregnancy test came back negative BUT you can have a false negative so who knows. I never really had heartburn until I was pregnant and I always had headaches throughout my pregnancy. Lo and behold, both of the symptoms began as well as feeling um...movement?...in my tummy. Weird. Needless to say, I'm still unsure if I'm pregnant, but I'd be fairly far along and it's probably wise if I find out. That IUD can't be healthy for a fetus.

Two, my teeth. Thanks mom for never drinking milk and depriving me of my calcium. : ) The McInnes side apparently has deep grooved teeth and guess what? So do I! So, I've had 3 teeth filled in the last 4 months and now they're hurting again. Gross.

Three. This is the reason for the WTF title on my post. My shoulder is 100% WRECKED. Not too long ago, I had this ridiculous amount of pain in my right shoulder. Just to tell you how terrible this pain is, my arm will fall if I try and lift the jug of milk up past the point of my elbow to put it back into the fridge. ??? Hmm. Well, tonight I think I have finally found the reason for this pain. Ready for this? Band Hero on the Wii. Yes. We had a little popcorn and Kool-Aid party with my family at our apartment tonight and we played Band Hero. From vigorously strumming that Wii guitar, my shoulder was pooped out. I guarantee this is the reason for the messed up shoulder.

Four. A while back my right index finger had pain from the middle knuckle, almost down to my wrist. What a random place for pain. I strongly disliked this. My mom thought it was arthritis. At my age??? I'm like Benjamin Button!

Five. I had to have an ultrasound in my upper right thigh to check for Arterial Thrombosis because one day my leg hurt and after about 3 days I was walking like I had a rod in it. (I looked like a fool and it killed to walk!) Turns out it was a swollen lymph node. Hahaha- see? These are just getting funnier! Why in the world would someone my age have all this STUFF?! AAAAND, in 2008 I was sent to the hospital to have an Upper GI and a Colonoscopy for internal bleeding. Apparently I was on the brink of stomach cancer. Eeho.

Now that I think about it, I'm seeing a theme here. It's always on my right side! So maybe I'm halfway broken. I'm broken vertically, down the middle. Weird. Anyway, I'm not sure the reason for all of this nonsense but I know I've learned one thing from it all. You have no idea how much you appreciate a body part until it is out of commission. (Or TOW UP, as we would say).

Appreciate your well functioning bodies, all you non-potentially-prego, non-Benjy Button, non-lemons, you.