Seriously.
I. Burn. Everything.
The other day I pulled a plate out of the microwave that had been in there for 50 seconds. Burned my hand.
I try and make pancakes...the middle is gooey and the outside is what? Burned.
I want to fry an egg, whose best part is the yolk of course, and the middle is none other than burned as well. Stiff like yellow rubber.
I'm straightening my hair and all of the sudden the inside of my index finger is on fire. From my hair! Red and calloused, burned and re-burned.
I've even gotten so good at burning that I FREEZER BURNED something the other day.
Awesome.
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