Humanizing Gays.

Humanizing Gays. 

             (My sweet and long life friend Austin and his friend.)

      It seems that no matter how hard I try to not flood my social media outlets with topics of politics, I never can do it. And the reason I fail at keeping my thoughts to myself is because in many situations, I have been on each side of the fence at some point, so I feel I can safely say that I understand 100% of you. Your thoughts, your reasonings, your distaste for something, and your passions. Today's topic? Gay Marriage. A couple of posts ago I wrote about the extreme silliness of the Chik-Fil-A feud happening across this country. Seems like something to laugh about now. But in all seriousness, these topics affect people. They are people's lives. And I'm out to show people how gays are human, just like the rest of us.

(This is Joe on the right- my friend and brother's long time friend from childhood.)

    
      I have often been at a fork in the road when it comes to Gay Marriage, asking myself if I support it, asking myself if I oppose it, asking myself if maybe I've just been culturally/religiously influenced by it all. Off the top of my head, I can think of at least 7 people in my circle of friends and family who are homosexual and openly so. I cannot imagine the amount of harsh judgments they have received and continue to receive on a regular basis because their lifestyle is not yet 100% socially acceptable. My religious beliefs teach that God has reserved the sanctity of marriage for one man and one woman. And although I have chosen this path for my family, it does not mean that everyone will. Nor does it mean that anyone with a different opinion than myself should be subject to criticism. 

     I used to be afraid to think of the possibility of Gay Marriage being legalized, being taught about in our schools to our young children, being on television shows and so forth. Now I realize that it doesn't matter what I think. The world will continue forward without my opinions (which can be incredibly closed minded, and they usually change over time) and all I can do is teach my children what I want them to learn within the walls of my own home. I want to teach them love. I want to teach them sacrifice. I want them to know that charity knows no bounds and that when someone needs their help, they have an obligation to do everything they can to lift them up, without any regard to their gender, religion, social status, or sexual preference. Just the fact that we are citizens of the most envied nation on Earth makes us amongst the few to be as lucky as we are to have what we have. Why not take that energy and channel it towards positivity and productivity?

(My childhood friend Jaymes with his boyfriend and my friend Johnny)

     
     With all of these wishy washy thoughts on Gay Marriage, I decided I was tired of not being certain of how I felt. So, I turned to prayer. I pleaded with God very plainly, "Please help me to know what to feel about this." And do you know what He said to me? He asked me, "Well...how do you feel?" It was as if He was telling me to exercise my right to think for myself, using the knowledge and life experiences under my belt to make an educated and wise decision. Then it clicked. The feeling hit me like a ray of sunshine to my chest. I am embarrassed it took me so long to realize this simple truth. I realized that many times we forget that people with same sex attraction are PEOPLE. They are human beings with needs like any other human being. Food, water, clothing, shelter, love, compassion, hope. They are not a different breed. They are not lesser or greater than any of the rest of us. We are the same. And the Lord told me, "These are your brothers and sisters. Will you deny them of their freedoms because they don't live like you do? To belittle them and ostracize them would be inhumane." And that was that. 

     I love that. Because guess what? People who are gay will live together. They will share finances, pets, groceries, mortgages, cars, friends and family. They will do this without any regard to laws. And why shouldn't they be allowed to? I can live with my best friend, can't I? I can live with my cousin, my neighbor, my co-worker and who would complain about it? No one would. But when it's out in the open that these cohabitators may be more than friends or blood relatives, it is immediately shunned and relationships crumble. However, laws do not disallow gays from cohabitating. No one is telling them they cannot enter into a mortgage together. No one is saying they cannot be a co-signer on a vehicle for their partner. So what good is it to take away their ability to share medical records, to wear wedding rings with purpose to the symbolism instead of just hope, to have to file for divorce like the rest of us, to be considered "next of kin" to their partners in the case of an emergency? These are trivial things in the eyes of the Lord. They are MAN'S laws. Not His. The only thing we take from these people is freedom. We don't fight them being able to cohabitate. So why fight them on the things that affect us zero percent, yet affect them one hundred percent? To not be recognized as human in the eyes of the law is a disgraceful thing. Whether you aren't recognized because you are a woman, because you are of a certain ethnicity, because of your sexual orientation, or what have you. All I know is, I will not stand at the feet of the Lord and say that I treated my fellow brothers and sisters with disrespect because we didn't live our lives the same way.

(My cousin Shamron with her girlfriend, Beth.)

  You may wonder about that post I mentioned earlier, the one regarding Chik-Fil-A and the gay community. In that post, I mentioned why members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints feel they cannot vote in favor of same sex marriage. The issue has not changed. Legalizing same sex marriage has the potential to crumble the very foundation our ancestors have labored to build. Essentially, it could dissolve separation of church and state. Some advocates of same sex marriage have suggested that any religious organization that does not honor gay marriage to have their tax exemptions withdrawn. This is the part where I say that I hope neither party will infringe on the other party's right to live freely and happily. I'm saddened there is so much grey area on this topic, but the concrete principles of humanity remain the same with or without it. And all I can do is live my life the way Christ would have me do. 

 

             (My cousin Charlie on the left, with her girlfriend, Emily.)

     The best part of changing your way of thinking is, it should take very little effort and you will be a much happier person. How can expanding your circle of love ever be a bad thing? You may ask, "What will this mean for me? How can I treat them differently?" The answer is easy.  It means that you will treat them like you treat everyone else. You don't treat your red-headed friends differently than your blonde ones. It's the same type of simple kindness. Do unto others. You'll be glad you did. And the very last question I have for you is, did any of these people look threatening to you? Because these are some of the happiest faces I have ever seen. 

-Lauren 

Information on my very normal friends: 

Austin and I grew up together in Albuquerque, NM. Austin is one of the sweetest, kindness, most gentle people I know, and I am glad to call him my friend. We have so many awesome memories together.


Joe has been a life long friend of my older brother, who is just 18 months ahead of me in life. Joe is an awesome person with a huge spirit and loves to have fun, just like the rest of us. : )

Jaymes and I have known each other since we were young kids. He comes from a large family who I am blessed to know. Jaymes is a certified nurse's aide and med tech. He and Johnny reside in St. George, UT. Johnny is a designer with incredible talent, selling his products at johnnyvegasoriginals.etsy.com. They live on 2.5 acres with their chickens and dog. They have been together just over 4 years and consider themselves, "a normal, boring couple." 

Charlie's father and my grandfather are brothers. She is a very kind, loving, and big hearted person who makes a difference in the lives of young kids each and every day. 

Shamron is the daughter of my mom's oldest brother. She is gorgeous, and so is Beth. They have a business sewing the ever so famous boob scarf. They are excellent examples of kindness and love to all people. 

I am so lucky to be in this incredible circle of people. 

All In A Flash.

Wow, does anyone else feel like time has been just zipping by?
Yesterday, I was pacing around my living room floor, waiting for baby Claire to make her way out of my dang stomach.
And today, she is over 6 months old! 
Yesterday Titan was smooshing a blue icing-topped cupcake into his mouth to celebrate his 2nd birthday, and today he wears Superman undies and goes potty in this own toilet. 
Yesterday we were unloading all of our goodies into multiple storage units until we found a place to live. And today we are looking at houses all the time, waiting to bid on just the right one in the next month or so. 
Yesterday we lived in Georgia, going on walks every morning and dropping off letters to our favorite dude in the mail.
Today, we have had Derek home for over 9 months. 
Yesterday, it was Christmastime. 
And now it's already almost time to decorate for Halloween!
Yesterday, I brought Claire home from the hospital. 
Today, she chomps down entire jars of bananas, sweet peas, and squash.
Yesterday, Titan couldn't talk very much. 
Today, he is the biggest gabber ever. (Lots of babbling. And back seat driving.)
Yesterday, Derek had a job he hated. 
Today, he has the best job he's ever had.
Yesterday, I was new to the college scene; a peppy, eager 18 year old.
Today, I'm 25 and a half. 
Yesterday, Derek and I met for the first time in a young adult ward at our church. 
Today, we've been married almost 4 years. 

Crazy how time flies. It's literally whooshing past us. I can almost feel it! One day these kids are going to be off at school and I'm not going to know what to do with myself. I hope it doesn't go by too quickly, but based on how fast life has been moving as of late, I can't assume it'll slow down! Just got to make sure I enjoy every minute. I sure do love my little family. 

The Ramblings of an Independent Human Being.

There has been so much talk of politics lately. And before you get bored and exit out of this post, read on and see what a Mormon like myself thinks of all of this.

*Chik-Fil-A: Where to begin. First of all, this is a restaurant. Restaurants are about food. Not about gay marriage. So to me, this entire "people are up in arms about Dan Cathy, owner of Chik-Fil-A" is RIDICULOUS. You either like their food...or you don't. Use your freedom of choice and NOT spend your money there if you don't like what they're doing. But zoning them out is juvenile and nothing but a publicity stunt because someone got excited that they have a voice in America. Good for you for at least using your 1st amendment right. If enough people don't eat at Chik-Fil-A because of Dan Cathy's statement, then the rules of economics have been well played and he deserves to not have a business in that location. But are you really surprised that a God-fearing man, who closes his businesses across the globe EVERY SUNDAY so that their employees can attend church meetings if they choose to do so, made this statement? I mean- think about it! Sundays are one of the biggest money making days of the week for places like Chik-Fil-A because people are off work and families often go out to eat together. Taking a hit like this shows what kind of a person Mr. Cathy is because unlike most leaders in America, he is driven by his heart and passions instead of with his wallet. 


     For Mayor Thomas Menino of Boston, Massachusetts to concoct a document to Mr. Cathy letting him know he isn't welcome in his city, is despicable. Why are these arguments only swayed one way? If a community of heterosexuals muscled out a business owner who supports gay marriage, people all over the country would have heart attacks. I find it especially ironic that Mayor Menino wrote to Mr. Cathy,  "Incredibly - your company says you are backing out of the same-sex marriage debate. I urge you to back out of your plans to locate in Boston... I was angry to learn on the heels of your prejudiced statements about your search for a site to locate in Boston. There is no place for discrimination on Boston's Freedom Trail and no place for your company alongside it." Found here.  Really, Mr. Menino? You do realize that by shooing Chik-Fil-A out of Boston because you feel they discriminate, you are actually discriminating against Mr. Cathy and his business? And not only him, but all traditional-marriage supporting business owners. Kinda shoved your foot in your mouth there. 


     Am I against people being homosexual? NO! People feel what they feel and it isn't my business to tell them otherwise. Some of the greatest people I know are homosexual. But do I value the traditional family? Absolutely! To say I don't would be to say my own family is superficial. And how ironic would it be that someone like myself, who tries to walk in the ways of Christ, unrighteously judges another for feeling or acting in a way that I don't agree with or understand? It is close-minded, harmful and a waste of time. Christ wouldn't judge homosexuals this way, so why should I? People are also incredibly misinformed about Mr. Cathy's views. Taken from the same site as the quote above, I read, "The fast-food chain later said that it strives to "treat every person with honor, dignity and respect — regardless of their belief, race, creed, sexual orientation or gender," the Boston Herald reported." You cannot tell me this isn't true. When was the last time you went to Chik-Fil-A and got anything less than awesome service? They serve homosexual customers. They hire homosexuals. 


     The story goes like this...for all of you who were too jumpy to read and gather the facts before making bold and crazy statements. Read the full article here. Chik-Fil-A had an agreement with The Jim Henson Company. Chik-Fil-A was going to fill kids' meals with Muppets dolls/puppets and any earnings would go back to The Jim Henson Company. However, Lisa Henson went to Chik-Fil-A's owners and told them that instead of sending the money BACK to their company, to go ahead and donate it directly to The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLADD). Because Dan Cathy believes strongly in the traditional family, the Henson's and Chik-Fil-A decided to cut ties. Let me ask you this. Couldn't Dan Cathy just as easily threw a fit and told Lisa Henson that because she didn't tell him about the donations up front, he was going to sue her for all she's worth and try to boycott her company? Yes, he could have. But did he? NO!!!! Of course not! Because he is a religious man who believes in being kind. INSTEAD, the Henson's publicized this up the wazoo, and did everything in their power to bring Chik-Fil-A down. Way to go, liberals! Always turning everything around and being the victim of EVERY SITUATION. What did Lisa Henson expect, doing business with a traditionally religious man? My mind is blown at the stupidity of people in America. 


     Again, do I love gays? Sure. Do I think they should love who they wish to love? ABSOLUTELY! Are they any different than the rest of us? No! We are all trying to get by and live a fulfilling and enjoyable life. Do I think gays should marry? Why not? They are often more dedicated lovers, better caretakers and more open-minded, Christlike individuals. But the reasons members of the LDS church keep things like Prop 8 in place is described below. 


*Gay Marriage: The Mormon church gets quite a bit of flack from people all across the globe because of their view on gay marriage. Even people within our own organization do not agree with Prop 8. But let me tell you a little something I learned. Churches like ours keep separate from the government and we do not pay taxes. All of our funding comes from members of the LDS church paying 10% of their annual income so that we can do a number of things with it, such as build temples and churches, pay for missionaries who cannot afford to go out and preach the gospel, help support needy families, and donate to charity. Our church strongly supports the traditional family and does not allow homosexuals to be married in our church buildings or temples. My guess is that MOST churches are the same way. Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Prodistant, Methodist, Buddhist, you name it. This is why many homosexual couples don't attend a specific church. Many churches do not accept the lifestyle. At least not yet. It is a new concept to them because it is only recently becoming widely accepted. 


     Am I threatened by homosexuals? Absolutely not! But I want to state the facts and expose the reality of WHY people feel the way they do. Continuing on, if there became a law that churches must respect homosexuality and honor it by allowing same-sex marriages within churches, churches like ours would lose our tax-free status and everything we preach in our churches would be shot to Hell. Why? Because we would no longer be able to keep the sanctity of only traditional marriages alive. One of the basic and most important principles we teach within our church is the marriage between man and woman. Taken directly from The Proclamation to the Family, it reads, "The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." 


     We would be either forced to close our temples or forced to allow gays to marry in the same way heterosexuals are. Some of you ask, "What is wrong with that?" And to many, maybe nothing is wrong with that. But to others, this is a huge deal. When segregation was done away with, did people all of the sudden treat each other better? Absolutely not! Ask your grandparents what they think of interracial marriage and they'll probably keel over. Just because a law has changed, doesn't mean people's hearts do also. There is still segregation in the south. Last year my family and I lived in Georgia. One night, we went out to eat at a popular chain restaurant. We noticed all the whites sat on one side of the restaurant and the blacks on the other. We sat where we wanted. And we sat on the black side. Everyone in that restaurant looked at us like we were crazy. The blacks didn't want us eating near them and the whites couldn't believe we sat there. It's absolutely ridiculous, but people's hearts don't change too quickly. Segregation was technically outlawed decades ago, but it lingers on in the hearts of those who never got around to accepting it.


     Back to the religious talk- to ask members of the LDS church, or any church, to roll over and allow their religion to crumble like a piece of cornbread would be abominable. You'd probably use a long string of expletives and a certain finger to describe how you felt if someone asked you to throw everything you believe in the trashcan. Instead, we vote. And we vote for Prop 8. Most, but not all. And it isn't because we think homosexuals are awful. It's because we want to continue to practice our beliefs and we are only left with two choices in the end. Again, why are these things only swayed one way? People who don't love tattoos don't stand outside tattoo parlors with a sign that says tattoos are of the devil. I don't gather together my hundreds of non-drinking friends and try to get a business to shut down because they serve alcohol. If I don't want to drink alcohol, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS NOT DRINK IT! Brilliant! Mostly, you are allowed to do what you want to do without people bugging you. So let others do the same. There should not be a double standard on this. And although agreeing to disagree is probably a long shot, people should at least stop jumping down each other's throats and acting like this is a war. There should not be a gays vs. straights competition. If it wasn't for churches like ours having to change so much due to Prop 8 being overturned, then I say to Hell with all this stupidity and let everyone live as they wish. Do I care if gays cohabitate? NO! Do I care if they have children? NO! Often times I feel they make better parents than many out there. (As stated above). And because they have to adopt, they spend much time and many resources on getting their much desired child- which shows their dedication to parenthood itself. I have homosexual friends that I adore so much. One of my favorite celebrities is Ellen DeGeneres. She is the most kind and charitable human being, like many other homosexuals. To judge them for the way they feel or the life they live is just as despicable as all the other nonsense I spoke of earlier. And incredibly unChristlike, which is just ironic, coming from people who preach to be otherwise. Which leads me to my next and final point. 


*Mitt Romney: I have to admit, I used to not be a very big fan of his. He seemed arrogant. But he has grown on me. And between him and Obama, I say Mitt deserves the drivers' seat. Mitt stands for everything America was founded upon. Yes, times change. But can you really say America has changed for the better? We have a higher amount of illegal aliens than ever before. We have experienced an incredible economic downfall and the amount of unemployed citizens in America continues to rise daily. Our school systems are suffering. Children kill themselves because they are bullied, because often parents raise their children to be entitled brats that grow up to be small-minded idiots who eventually run our cities, businesses and other organizations. And although I do see eye to eye with many of Mitt Romney's beliefs on how America should be run, I have had a change of heart about pro-choice versus pro-life. But I urge you to NOT READ THIS THE WRONG WAY. Do I believe in the casual use of abortion? No no no no no. But do I believe women should have a choice? ....Yes and no. If I go out, get drunk, am irresponsible and make foolish choices which lead to unplanned and unwanted pregnancy, I should do the right thing and carry the baby for 9 months until I can give it up for adoption to a loving, deserving family. Same goes for girls who have consensual sex and get pregnant in any other situation, whatever age they may be. However, if I am raped, I should choose. If I am sick and my body cannot hold a baby and allow both the child and I to live, I eventually end up at a fork in the road. Do I die, when my child would most likely die anyways? Do I leave behind a husband and other children? No. But I would at least appreciate the ability to CHOOSE FOR MYSELF. For someone else to basically sentence me to death in this situation would be inhumane. Many do not realize that the Mormon church doesn't punish those who choose to abort in situations such as incest, rape or illness.


Whew! Let's recap, shall we?


*Do I love homosexuals? Yep.
*Should they love who they wish? Yep. 
*Would it be okay if they chose to live a straight life and fight gay tendencies? Yep. And good for you if that's what you choose. That would be very difficult. 
*Should gays raise children? If they wish.
*Was Dan Cathy wrong in making his statement? No. He was answering a question honestly. He should be given credit for that, especially when he probably realized so many would persecute him for his answer. 
*Were people wrong to be offended by Dan Cathy? Not necessarily, but don't hang the man. He has opinions just like you do. 
*Was Mayor Menino wrong to tell Dan Cathy to take a hike? Yes. It was immature and uncalled for, not to mention ironic because of his reverse discrimination.
*Is gay marriage wrong? In the eyes of many, yes. In the eyes of many others, no. To me? I say let whoever wants to marry, marry! But because it conflicts with the way I live my life from a religious stand point(my religion is more than a Sunday thing for me, it's an entire lifestyle), I must always vote in favor of Prop 8. It's definitely a bittersweet thing because I truly do not believe others should be told by the government how they should live their lives. I wish there were another way. 
*Are people wrong to not support gay marriage? Absolutely not. People should always be allowed to feel what they want without someone telling them otherwise. It's like me saying you shouldn't be allowed to dislike onions. Ridiculous. 
*Do Mormons hate homosexuals? No! But many are also close minded and do not get the concept that you can love someone entirely without loving their lifestyle or choices. 
*Do I believe in casual abortion? No way. Those people will answer for the murder of innocent children. 
*Do I believe women should have a choice? Yes. Especially under life-threatening circumstances. 


Wow, what a crazy blog post. I had to get it all out. Opinions? Thoughts? I'm ready to be hated, and I'm ready to be praised. But I at least did my homework and attached links to articles from where I got my information. Any other questions or comments can be emailed to me at laurensikora@hotmail.com


-Lauren

Things I Love!

 

I have been thinking about things that I love and I wanted to share. 


1. Sun bursting through my window in the morning


2. My beautiful children waking up happy 


3. Looking for houses and picturing my belongings there


4. Eating healthfully and feeding my kids healthy foods (if they'll eat them)


5. Rolling over in the night and getting a whiff of my clean-laundry smelling pillow


6. Claire's gigantic gummy smile


7. Titan's sweet spirit and the way he goes "ppptttthhh" to get my attention sometimes


8. When my husband laughs at my jokes and commentary


9. Getting up and making breakfast for Derek and eating it with him while the kids are still asleep


10. Finding bargains


11. Pictures 


12. Feeling connected with people. I LOOOOOVE Facebook and Blogs


13. Toaster Strudels 


14. Pinterest


15. My beta fish. He's my third baby


16. A clean house


17. Blankets, especially quilts


18. Being able to sleep with the windows open


19. A freshly vacuumed rug


20. Modern Family


21. The Draw Something app (Wanna play? Username is laurenslover08)


22. Friendly strangers


23. Free samples at Costco


24. A stocked up refrigerator and cupboards from a recent trip to the grocery store


25. Good music (Anyone else love Enya?)


26. The home section of Anthropologie (things normal people can actually afford and are cute)


27. When my kids play together and giggle. I die every time


28. Naps


29. Good books. Just finished Heaven Is Here and I'm a believer. I am currently reading The Book of Mormon. (Wanna read it with me? I started 4 days ago and I'm reading a chapter a day. I'm on 1st Nephi 4)


30. The weekends




This is just a small list of many things I love. The big things that I love the very most in my life are my family and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, which allows me to live the happy life that I feel many people seek but never find. I don't usually get religious on my blogs or Facebook, but what better way is there to share the happiness I know than to put it up here for people to explore if they'd like to? Learn more here. 

When I Have Money...

I've been thinking lately. I have slowly come up with a "When I Have Money Wish List". So, without further adieu, I will jump right in. When I have money, I'd like: 


* To get my rug cleaned. By a real cleaner. Not me and my power sprayer with my gigantic rug draped over my cinderblock wall. 


* To buy a house! With a backyard for my kids to roam around in. 


* A puppy. A french bulldog named Pierre. 


* More Disney movies, like Tangled, Cars 1 & 2, Toy Story 1 2 & 3, A Bug's Life, Tarzan and The Jungle Book. The VHS's have slowly become fuzzy and some don't work at all, but my little guy loves them.


* A real haircut. I think I cut my hair once a year (if that) and I usually just go to some cheapy haircutting place that always messes my hair up. 


* To go on a small vacation with my lover! I'm thinking a cruise...


* To buy Derek tickets to a Jack Johnson concert. 


* To put my kids in the Infant Rescue Swimming courses.


* Have a gym membership.


* Regular date nights with my best friend!


I'm sure there are more, but some have slipped my mind. We HAVE been saving up some money lately, just as a "whatever" fund. We usually put Derek's  bonuses in there. So yesterday we were talking about how out of shape we are and how time consuming and expensive it is to go to to a gym or join a city sports league. A lightbulb turned on in my little head and I thought, "Bikes! Let's buy bikes!" So hopefully pretty soon we can buy two bikes and some kid-friendly bike carriers/carts so that after dinner every night, we can toot around town on our cruisers. We'd be 1. Spending time with family still 2. Getting exercise 3. Getting fresh air 4. Having fun and 5. Wearing out the kids before bath and bedtime. Love, love, love the idea. It's a win all around. So stay tuned for pictures of our awesome bikes in the near future. 

Never A Dull Moment.

At our house, it truly does seem like there just never is a dull moment. When the whole fam damily walks out the door, here's how it goes. (Every time.)


*I buckle Claire into her car seat and carry her to the door. 
*I put Titan's shoes on. 
*We all four gather at the front door. 
*I ask Derek if he has the keys. 
*He says "They're in my pocket."
*I manually lock the bottom lock and shut the door behind me once our small herd of cattle makes its way through the door jamb. 
*Derek locks the dead bolt. 
*We head to the car. 


Like I said, this is the routine EVERY SINGLE TIME. Even the "they're in my pocket" comment about our keys. After nearly four years of marriage, I've learned that if I am missing ANYTHING, it is most likely in one of the 27 pockets on Derek's cargo shorts. 


Well, today our routine got a little out of whack. We got to the part where we were all gathered in front of the door, and then me...assuming the keys were in Derek's pocket (and why wouldn't I), manually locked the bottom lock and shut the door behind me. As it is swinging shut, his big eyes look at me and then we hear, "Click". The door closed. He shoved his hands into his pockets and said, "I don't have the keys." My eyes widened and then went back to normal thinking that my silly jokester of a husband was trickin me. No trick. The keys were, indeed, on the dang key rack. So not only could we not get back inside, we couldn't get into our car either, since the keys are all on one keyring. Luckily, I brought our "survival kit". Also known as frozen Otter Pops (A pink one for me, a red one for Derek and an orange one for Titan.), a Sobe bottle full of ice water, and a Cars 2 sippy cup full of White Grape Juice for Titan. Turned out handy, having some things to cool us down in the 109* weather that rose to 111* within minutes. With beads of sweat dripping down Derek's forehead, Claire making a fuss in her carseat (already. Not even in that seat for 7 minutes and she's bugged.) and Titan sitting in the rocks throwing things into a bush, we whipped out our trusty ole Fry's Grocery Store V.I.P card and tried swiping it over the lock to pop it open. Yeah, that was harder than it seemed. Then we pulled two bobby pins out of my hair, straightened them, and like criminals tried to strategically hit all the right parts of the lock to make it open. (Note: it is also harder than it seems and no amount of crime-related TV show watching will help you out on the matter.) I told Derek, "Hey, I think I know how to pick a lock. I remember it somehow. I think I did it in another life one time, maybe." That's when he stared at me and I could almost hear that awkward "crickets chirping" noise you hear in movies. Then I said, "Wait. I know it can be done. Because Tai Lung does it in Kung Fu Panda and he does it with a feather. He breaks out of his hand cuffs". Then I realized that is anything but real life. But, it it were real, I'd better be able to break into my house if a tiger can break out of handcuffs. 


After all that crazy jazz outside, and wondering how many of our neighbors started making popcorn and pulled up chairs at their front windows to watch us try breaking into our own house, we had an idea. Derek said he was *pretty* sure he could bust into our house by kicking the door in. It didn't sound wise to me. I didn't want to pay out the nose for a new door. But our landlords live in China (not really, but they live about an hour from us) and it was only gettin hotter outside. I said go ahead. But go easy! So he kicked the door in, taking off the entire left side of the door jamb and the paint, and the bottom lock guard, and screws and all that nifty stuff. I thought he was pretty bad A, except that now our door is wrecked. 

Getting Lost.

Lately I've felt like being a mom has been the ultimate challenge for me. Why it is so hard, I don't know. It began with my two week long episode of post partum depression after giving birth to Titan, nearly two and a half years ago. Then it went away! I was a trooper. I loaded him up to take him to doctors appointments, the grocery store, and anywhere else I needed to go. Things were fun and groovy until he was 8 months old when I went back to work. Going to work was GREAT for me. I loved working. I loved getting to talk with adults and being able to help people throughout the day doing something I felt I was good at. Getting praise for my work, earning raises and seeing a good amount of money deposited into my bank account every two weeks was nice. And it was something that stay-at-home-moms never get. There are no "thank you's" for changing diapers, feeding picky eaters, scrubbing baby food out of the carpet, boiling binkies, putting screaming kids down for naps, wiping boogers, de-cluttering the house, scrubbing toilets, washing mirrors, beating out the rugs, making the bed, sweeping the floor, or vacuuming the house. There are no vacation days, even if you feel you've earned them. There's no two-weeks notice you give when you're mentally finished with this job. There's no boss to complain to about the system needing revamping. There's no trips to Starbucks every morning to ensure you stay awake. I don't drink coffee, but even if I did, I couldn't at the moment because I breastfeed. Which means any milk, chocolate, caffeine or spicy foods will destroy my baby's stomach, leaving me to deal with a ridiculously fussy baby in the 24 hours that follow rebellion. I've often said that the day I quit breastfeeding, I'm going to chug a huge glass of whole milk after snarfing down a couple of pieces of toast topped generously with Nutella. I realize this sounds like a whole lot of whining, but that isn't my intention. Taking care of kids doesn't "cramp my style", but it is simply a very challenging thing for me. Changing diapers doesn't bother me. Making grilled cheese sandwiches doesn't bother me. Holding babies doesn't bother me. Breastfeeding is great. Water fights with Titan are great. Going for walks in the wagon is a blast. But getting little to no sleep is pure Hell for me. I'm not a functioning person with no sleep. I'm cranky, depressed and unwilling/unable to do much without it. Top that with a teething 5 month old who doesn't sleep ANYWAY, and a 2 1/2 year old who thinks naps are going out of style and wants my attention 24/7, some days I'm fairly certain I'm about to lose my mind. I've decided I've sort of lost myself. I used to be a full-time student and I always loved school my entire life. I loved socializing and furthering my education. Those two things together are like a big breath of fresh air for me. But all of that sort of went away at the same time and now I'm wishing I could  (1) Finish the last 3 semesters of school that I have until I receive my Bachelor's Degree and/or (2) Find something I can do to feel fulfilled. Book club, going to the gym, swapping babysitting jobs with a friend, play dates, doing crafts, perfecting my love of photography, writing a book, working part-time, ANYTHING. I just want to feel like I'm an individual again, not ONLY a wife and a mom. It gets very tiring putting 3 people before yourself and sort of throwing yourself on the back burner 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Okay, maybe 364 days a year since my birthday is thrown in there. : ) Thankfully, my husband is the bomb and does ALL KINDS OF STUFF around the house to help me out and is incredible with the kids. I don't know how some couples make it and how some moms do it without any extra help whatsoever. I can only imagine how tough that must be. But just as a battery can't help a product function without being fully charged, a mom can't very easily take care of an entire family on "drained batteries". I feel like I am so much more excited and energetic about taking care of the people I love most when I feel like I am uplifted and happy. This is probably why being a working mother was EASY for me. I could be the fun parent that fed and bathed Titan after my long shift at work, picked him up if he wanted to be held, rocked him if he wanted it, and so forth. Derek didn't want to do those things because Titan had just driven him to the brink of insanity the entire day, and they were confined to an 800 sq. ft. apartment. Derek obviously didn't feel like he could just call other moms to have playdates with the kids because that would just be weird. There weren't many stay-at-home dads, which made it even more difficult for him. So I guess what works for one, might not work for another. My life was great, his life was hard. Now his life is great and my life is hard. But I'm determined to make my "job as a mom" as enjoyable and fulfilling as possible. I need some suggestions on what I can do to reach that point, instead of feeling like a robot going through the motions with a 5 o'clock goal on the horizon every day. I can't live like that and neither can the kids. I'm hoping I make a discovery here real soon! 

Finally, some good news!

     Our poor little Titan has struggled with ear infections his entire life. And sadly enough, I believe our little Claire is having all the same problems. Titan had two ruptured ear drums last fall and the day before Mother's day he had another. When we took him to the doctor, he had a double ear infection (although only the one ear drum had actually burst). The ENT said there was still plenty of fluid remaining in his ears and this is what keeps him from being able to hear well, which ultimately ends up causing him to not be able to speak well either. We scheduled him for surgery to have tubes placed last Saturday. There were problems with the insurance so we were forced to wait another week. Finally, this morning we got news that everything went through and he is good to go for tube placement on Saturday! I'm hoping this will be like a miracle for him and all of the sudden he'll be able to talk and hear and all his senses will sort of just sharpen up. I feel like we are giving him the greatest Christmas present or something. And it's a huge present for me as well, because I've had to try and crack his code for the past year and the two of us get pretty frustrated with each other when we can't communicate well. But we've done awesome. I'm just glad it's coming to an end! I love you, little T-man. Good luck on Saturday! 

How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You.

Wow, I haven't been on here for a while! I keep meaning to blog, but end up forgetting or just being lazy and not doing it. But this, I had to share.

Saturday afternoon, our house was a bit sleepy. The kids were down for naps, so Derek and I decided to sneak away upstairs for a nap as well. As he lay next to me, falling asleep, I just looked at him in amazement. How lucky am I to be loved by this incredible person. This God-fearing, family-loving, hard-working man who was just a 21 year old boy fresh off of his mission when I met him. I knew I loved him then...and I love him more than ever now. Reminiscing on the things we used to do & thinking about all the things we do now- we have more memories than anyone on the planet and I love that. We've had the craziest streak of bad luck since leaving the Army, but I realize every day that when the world is falling apart around us, we still have each other, and that will always be enough. I know people talk about soul mates being a false concept, but I disagree. At least for us.  I am so blessed to have such sweet people directly surrounding me in my life. Here's to my little family of four and the love I have for them. You guys make me the most proud wife & mom in the world. I love you!

The Gay Mormon Guy.

Wow.

I have stumbled across this blog before in the past. And I read up a bit on it again today. I am so impressed by this person. He remains anonymous, of course, but I wish I could give him a big high five. I feel like in the church, there are many people who struggle with same-sex-attraction, a temptation to do drugs, drink alcohol, or be involved in immoral activities. But why are these topics never brought up? I feel like by avoiding them, two things happen. 1: The people with the desire to be involved in these things end up chasing their desires and possibly ultimately leaving the church and 2: Members who don't fall victim to these things end up judging those who do. Obviously this creates more negativity and absence of love than Heavenly Father would ever want for His children.

In this blog, gaymormonguy.blogspot.com , this person talks about the struggle he faces as not only someone with SSA (same-sex-attraction) but as a faithful member of the LDS church. He knows it would be easier to live in a place like San Francisco and chase men, seeing as that is a place that widely accepts gay LDS people, but he is true to his faith and is truly trying to "Endure to the End".

Incredible story. Do yourself a favor and read a post or two. You won't be disappointed.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

     
     If you all didn't know, I have the greatest mom in the world. As I've become a mother myself, I continue to realize more each day JUST how hard my mom worked to raise a family with 4 kids. Hearing of stories where my dad would get up at 3 am to make a 2 hour commute to work, then arrive home at 10 pm and only see us on weekends makes me cringe! Taking care of kids is hard enough with a handy and helpful husband, so I cannot imagine doing it alone. Oh and I suppose I should mention that she had 4 kids under the age of 5 and my mom had all of us before she was 25 years old. (Yikes.) 


She was always kind, always patient, and always willing to let us be ourselves. We were allowed to be kids and she didn't make us grow up faster than we had to. She always made great meals for us and went way out of her way to be an exceptional mom. One time in high school, I was talking to a friend who mentioned he was hungry because he hadn't had breakfast. He said every now and then he'd grab a granola bar on his way out the door but that was it. He was (obviously) green with envy when I told him my mom made me breakfast....every. single. morning. She would get up extra early, still nice and sleepy, and make us a hot breakfast. Waffles, pancakes, french toast, scrambled eggs, you name it. And that wasn't all. She'd throw some peaches or pears or grapes on the table too, just to be sure we were getting some healthy food in our bodies. 3 of us were in high school at the same time, so she really didn't need to get up that early, seeing as we could just drive ourselves to school and she could sleep in. But she never once did that. She was amazing that way and set a great example for me. Now, no matter what, I always make sure that Titan has a good breakfast and we usually eat it together. Sometimes it's a hassle and MAN that kid is a picky eater, but it makes me feel great to know I'm taking good care of my little man. 


This is just one of many things I could say about my mom that would win her the Best Mom Award. She's great and I love her and I'm so grateful to be her daughter and have been raised by her incredible and Christlike example. Thanks Mom and I sure do love you. 


Also, my sister Sheridan is a great mother. I watched as she's endured an 8 month deployment where her husband was in Afghanistan, and 4 months of training before that deployment where they didn't live together. She gave birth to her son Sawyer without her spouse along side her. My mom and I were there, but that is just not the same. I've seen her skin grow thicker, yet her heart has grown tender and she loves her boys (her hubby, her baby and her dog) more than anything in the world. I know she's also a fantastic mom with a bright future ahead. (And hopefully lots more sweet kids). 

I love you girls! Happy Mother's Day to you and to all you moms out there. It's not an easy job! 


Love, 


Lauren

Moving on.

I kept that last post up there for a while since it seemed to be getting re-circulated and I didn't want people to have to go looking for it. But I'm moving on now! And thanks so much for reading my poem. Isn't that just the way motherhood goes? For any of you who don't have kids, consider yourself warned.

Since so many of you mommies liked that post and could relate, I decided to start a new blog entirely on the funny and crazy times of motherhood. You can find me at thediariesofawimpymom.blogspot.com. I'll still be writing on this blog, posting about this & that & whatever I want. But the other blog will strictly be mommy moments. I hope you read it, like it & tell all your friends about it! Life won't seem so bad and crazy if you know so many other people are doing the same ridiculous things you are all day long.

P.S. There is no reason I have a picture of Antoine Dodson in this post, it just made my day to see his face and it reminded me of how hard he has made me laugh in the past. If you don't know who he is then please, for the love of all things funny, go check him out. With that being said, I hope you all have a happy Friday and a superb weekend!

Why Moms Shouldn't Be Fat.

I wrote a little poem describing life as a mother. Now someone just tell me this isn't true.

The bending the lifting, the ups and the downs.
The rocking and shh-ing, the fixing of frowns.
Of all of the things that I do with this bod,
I should look nothing less than a chiseled Greek god.

Bringing in all of the groceries alone,
Up the stairs, down the stairs- where is my phone???
How many times do I take this from you?
The plunger's off limits, the TP is too!

Why did I put my mixing bowl there?
Better climb up the counter, or pull up a chair.
Using the muscles I didn't know of,
To reach Lightning McQueen, by that old piece of grub.

You ate a hot Cheeto? Oh great, here it comes.
Wait for the diaper that will be "the runs".
Hauling out trash bags that reek of old poop.
Hoisting it into the dump full of goop.

Pulling you in your red wagon each day,
And just as I stop you yell, "Mom! Go that way!"
Coming home tired and wanting to rest,
Is just such a joke because now there's a test.

How patient are you by 7 pm.
Dinner, then bath time, and cleaning the den.
The kids are in bed, you plop down and sigh.
When all of the sudden, one starts to cry.

You dash up the stairs and you don't make a peep,
In fear that you might wake the one that's asleep.
The problem is fixed, and tip toed you go.
When right out of nowhere you get quite the blow.

You hop and you jump and turn right around,
To see what you stepped on. Oh look what you found!
That green dinosaur with its big pointy tail
All up in the air- that's what made you wail!

Just when you feel the day couldn't get worse,
Your muscles are sore and you just want to curse,
Your back's out of whack and you begin to think-
P90X doesn't even do this to me!

My kids kicked my butt by the end of the day.
And I got quite the workout, I just have to say.
Changing into my jammies, I take off my top,
My trusty old belly pops out with a flop.

Bewildered I'm wondering, "How can this be?"
Did you see all the things my kids did to me?!
But talking to fat never did anyone good,
If I could get rid of it, surely I would!

Men age so graciously, handsome and grey.
Women's boobs droop and their fannies? They hang.
One thing's for certain though, I'll tell you that-
It isn't fair that moms are the ones that get fat.

(Happy Mother's Day coming up soon!)

Whaddya Know Wednesday

I missed last Wednesday's "Whaddya Know". And the one before that. And possibly the one before that? Maybe I just ran out of facts about myself! Here are a few more to celebrate this Wednesday!

1. I hate the way "surprise" is spelled. I've always thought it should be "suprise".

2. No matter what I do, I can never ever get a good shave on my armpits.

3. I have THE boniest tail bone in the world and can't even do sit-ups without having a nasty rug burn.

4. My hair isn't naturally straight like people think it is; it's super wavy but not in an attractive way by any means.

5. When I was little, my siblings and I had Cabbage Patch Dolls (remember those?!) and we thought that they came alive one time. We even went searching for their footprints in our gravel driveway.

6. I play piano & guitar, but I'm a master of neither one.

7. I crashed on a dirt bike when I was 15 and ended up with 5 stitches and a LOT of road rash.

8. Derek & I got in a motorcycle accident when I was pregnant with Titan which resulted in Derek not having a pulse in his right wrist, but never had to get his hand amputated because there is still blood flow!

9. I love shoe string french fries.

10. My favorite pizza in the entire world is Dion's. Nothing compares. But if I had to choose a second it would be Little Caesar's and third would tie between Barro's & Nello's.

11. Basically everything we own (furniture wise) is from IKEA. (Note to self: IKEA's quality in furniture is not so good. You definitely get what you pay for.)

12. There was a bomb threat at my high school once and the SWAT team had to come in. We stood out in the sun for 3 hours. There were 3500 students at our school.

13. When I was in middle school, someone found a "Hit List" and turned it in to the principal's office. Apparently I was on that hit list. I never found out whose it was & I don't know if anything came of it. And I have no idea why I was on that list! I was a goober with high crew socks, white-toed shoes, and normal 12 year old outfits and I never picked fights!

14. I like to paint and I have a couple of paintings I've done on canvas.

15. I currently have 6 cavities. Do not judge.

Momma Mia

Being a mom brings some funny times that only other mothers can understand.

Don't worry, though- they aren't always pleasant. Take this picture, for example. It is exactly what you think it is & it isn't the first time it's happened.

 I was just talking with my mom when all of the sudden I felt wet. This is the "wet" I was feeling. Nothing like sticky, sugary breastmilk gluing your boob, garment top, bra & shirt together all while leaving a big attractive circle of awesome on your shirt.

 A couple of weeks ago, I was outside talking to my neighbor. I had Claire in my arms and Titan was zipping around the courtyard with my neighbors kids. He was talking away when my let down reflex kicked in (at full force) and two big wet circles started to form on my chest. I wanted to politely excuse myself, but ended up blurting, "Oops! I'm leaking. Titan! Come on! Let's go inside!" Neighbor fail.

Until next time!

3 myths about life.

I feel like each day that I get older, I get a tad bit more wise. I feel like I am handed facts, and that my head & heart ultimately end up deciding if they're true or not. There are a few things I've discovered as of late.

1. Breastfeeding. People say that your breastfed child's immune system rocks and that they'll rarely get sick. One lady even told me that the first time she ever took her son to the doctor due to illness (not just a checkup) was when he was 18 & she attributed it to breastfeeding. Well sorry, but I breastfed Titan for 11 months and he's been sick about a million times in his life! They also say that your chances of getting breast cancer are slim to none when breastfeeding. My grandmother breastfed all 7 of her children and got breast cancer about 10 years ago. Crazy! I'm still a full believer in "breast is best", but I don't think formula fed kids have much disadvantage when it comes to the nutritional outcome.

2. Gay marriage. I'm still a little bit on the fence with this one. My religious upbringing tells me it's not ordained of God (which I whole heartedly believe) but my observance of Gay couples tells me they are some of the most incredibly kind & loving people I've known. I even think they'd make better parents than many people out there. And although I don't think it's quite fair to bring a child into a family with two moms or two dads without explaining to them that it's not the norm, I still think they'd raise good children. And probably less judgmental children. In a sense, more CHRISTLIKE children. And when it comes down to it, whether the state recognizes them as a (legal) couple or not, they'll still live together, have pets together, and do their thing together. However, the thing that bothers me most about many people in the gay community is that they shove their beliefs in your face. Marching down the street with rainbow shirts that say "I'm gay" on them isn't helping anything. I don't walk around with a pink shirt that says "I'm heterosexual" on it. What's the point? So like anything else, I don't like when people slap me in the face with their beliefs and aggressively try to make me see eye to eye with them until they feel "accepted". Truth is, they may never fully be accepted. Segregation was done away with many years ago and yet I saw it in Georgia last summer when I lived there. The white people ate on one side of the restaurant and the blacks ate on the other. And when we sat in the black section, everyone looked at us like we were crazy. It was awkward. So my point is, if they're going to do their thing, fine. But I think everyone should keep extreme PDA to themselves. Just as I don't want to see a lesbian or gay couple making out at a restaurant or a movie or anywhere for that matter, I don't want to see a heterosexual couple doing it either. Be tactful. Be respectful. Love others. And don't judge. I think if I can remember those things, I'll be set. (I was kind of all over the place with that one, but you get the point.)

3. Dieting. Some say the only true way to lose weight is through a healthy diet. Maybe for SOME. But my entire life, I've eaten anything & everything I've wanted and stayed fairly small. I attribute this to genetics and exercise, not diet. In my personal opinion, exercise is far more important than counting every calorie. I think as people, we are kind of...what's the word...lazy. We don't want to exercise after a long day at work. And we'd rather turn on Netflix to watch Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never" on Saturday morning instead of going for a jog. There's even been talk of a diet pill that sends some chemical to the brain that makes your body burn calories as if you had exercised. Whaaaaat??? How does that even work? It's nuts. Just go outside! Anyway, I think it's such a scam that people feel like they have to be ONE SIZE. That women have to be a size 2 and men a 32 waist or smaller. Just be fit, be yourself, and be happy...whatever that size may be.

Whaddya Know Wednesday

Here I am again, another Wednesday snuck up behind me! So are you thinking you know me pretty well by now? Here are 15 more facts about me.

1. I pick my nose. (Don't deny it- you do it also. Probably in the car when you think no one is watching.)

2. I had a dream about Derek when I was 17 and never met him before. I recognized him from my dream years later. And I still remember the dream like it was yesterday.

3. I'm always standing on one foot, with the other foot pressing against the opposite legs' inner thigh. Does that make sense? Basically I stand like a flamingo and I didn't know this was weird until I met Derek. Apparently I'm the only one in the world who does it.

4. I'm scared to death of wasps & bees. I run & flail my arms & scream in a pitch I can't reproduce by any other means than by having one of those suckers whiz past me.

5. I love puzzles. The big ones with 1000+ pieces.

6. I was 23 years old when I bought my first real purse. It was $15 from Sears.

7. I put peanut butter on my waffles before pouring syrup on top. I grew up eating this, but came to learn that not many do the same.

8. Sometimes I get a wild hair & want to get a matching tattoo with Derek.

9. I have double-jointed ankles and can turn my feet almost completely backwards while standing upright.

10. I was allergic to pineapples as a kid but grew out of that allergy. They used to make my tongue super itchy.

11. I like anchovies on my pizza, although I never order it that way.

12. In college, I lit a bowl of tater tots on fire by putting them in the microwave too long.

13. I don't have a diamond on my wedding ring. I am not a fan of them & asked Derek to buy me a plain silver band. Thank Heavens he's not a proud person or he'd be embarrassed every time someone told me, "Let me see your ring!" when we got engaged.

14. It took me 5 months to get pregnant with Titan & 3 days to get pregnant with Claire. Needless to say we're being reeeeeallly careful these days.

15. I get excited when Titan wants to watch Curious George 2: The Movie, because it's my favorite show of his.

What, what???

I haven't been as faithful a blogger as I'd originally hoped I'd be when beginning this weekly theme idea. So, here's the deal. I'm thinking I might just do the Whaddya Know Wednesdays since those seem to be informational, entertaining & possibly embarrassing all wrapped into one post- so you know to watch out for those. Otherwise, I think I'll just blog as I feel necessary. Which very well could be never. But we'll see. So since I skipped Whaddya Know Wendesday, I'm doing the unthinkable. Yes. I am doing Whaddya Know THURSDAY. But today only.

So what do you know about me? Have these facts been mind-blowing or flat-out boring? You decide. But here comes 15 more facts anyway.

1. I hate clutter. I even go as far as cleaning up my kitchen before destroying it again by making breakfast.

2. I have had my husband pull over on the freeway twice in our 3.5 years of marriage so I can relieve my bowels.

3. I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). In case you thought to judge me for the above comment.

4. I was in a spelling bee once. I lost by forgetting the first "h" while spelling "rhythm".

5. I never spend more than $40 on athletic shoes.

6. My favorite flavored ice cream within any brand is chocolate chip cookie dough. Although Ben & Jerry's "Late Night Snack" (which includes chocolate covered potato chips. Yes, that's right. ) is QUITE delicious. Give it a shot.

7. I've written a handful of songs on the guitar & I've played (casually) since I was 15 years old.

8. The first and last time I ever sang in front of anyone (alone) was when I was a freshman in college. I sang in front of about 500 people.

9. I have a scar over my left eye from having it busted open by a Super Soaker while water-fighting when I was 8.

10. I learned how to ride a 600 cc motorcycle and would love to have one of my own.

11. JCPenney is my favorite department store. I always make out like a bandit when I shop there.

12. My first date was at Carraba's when I was 16. My date forgot his credit card. The night I got engaged to Derek, we went to Carraba's. He forgot his credit card. Note to self: don't eat at Carraba's.

13. I'm an avid journalist. I have 8 volumes of journal dating back to when I was 8 years old. I even have 2, 2 inch binders stuffed front and back with letters Derek and I sent back and forth during his time away in the Army and I've recently bought 2 more notebooks to document each of my children's lives.

14. My major was in Communication/Broadcast Journalism. I went to college to be a news caster. I left the University of Arizona with only 3 semesters left and I'm hoping to finish in the near future.

15. My favorite show on TV is Ellen. I try and watch it every day. I probably look like a fool, sitting on my couch laughing hysterically at her crazy commentary.

Tune in next week for Whaddya Know!